Succeed By Doing And Not Doing

God bless Kacper Postawski for this simple but profound saying: "Success happens whenever you decide to do something and you DO IT. Or whenever you decide to NOT DO something and you DON'T do it. I know it sounds simple, but 99% of people can't even do just that!"

Decide to get up at 7 a.m. and do it. You have succeeded even if you return to bed at 8 a.m. You will probably stay up, however, because, once you are up and about, you will realize that there is much you can get on with and you will probably feel energized by the fact that you stuck to your decision.

Decide not to eat anything after sundown and you have succeeded even if you eat something at daybreak! Muslims do this every year during the month of Ramadan and find this time to be a great source of discipline, growth and eventual joy.

As you make more and more firm decisions about what you will and will not do you will extend your empire of self control further and further until you rule your own world. You may even become a leader of others who will sense and appreciate the charisma that exudes from a disciplined and powerful person.

As Kacper suggests, all this sounds obvious and simple but clearly we need reminding about it again and again and we need to apply this truth time after time. A majority of people are not successful because they do not actually do what they decide to do and/or do what they have decided not to do.

Once we know that we can rely on ourselves to carry out our own decisions, we can lead a more relaxed life. We will not, for example, have to worry so much about putting on weight or living in a cluttered world.

We can decide to put away one to five pieces of clutter every day and know that we will do it and end up with a reasonably tidy, efficient place of work or a pleasant environment to rest in. We can decide not to leave our clothes on the floor but to put them in the appropriate place. Benefits obviously include not tripping over them in the dark of night and looking a little smarter next day.

We will avoid worrying about things like whether we have sent off our credit card payments on time. If we decide not to use our credit card, except for emergencies and important purchases, and stick to that decision we will not have to worry about getting into debt.

Worry is far more tiring than action. Instead of worrying about the fact that we need to go out for a walk, we will simply decide to go for a walk and then get on with it. More energy will flood our being and we will start to achieve what only an energetic person can achieve.

As we climb the ladder we have created for ourselves rung by rung, we will discover, like Margaret Thatcher, that we have abilities and skills that we did not realize we had:

"One only gets to the top rung on the ladder by steadily climbing up one at a time, and suddenly, all sorts of powers, all sorts of abilities which you thought never belonged to you - suddenly become within your own possibility and you think, 'Well, I'll have a go, too.'"

Whether you agree with Mrs. Thatcher's policies or not, you cannot deny her achievement in becoming the first woman prime minister of the UK. She also set an example in sticking to most of her decisions.

On one famous occasion, in 1980, at the Conservative party conference she responded to those who wanted her to change her counter inflationary policies:

"To those waiting with bated breath for that favourite media catchphrase, the U-turn, I have only one thing to say: You turn if you want to. The lady's not for turning!"

However, even the iron lady did turn and change her decision when the poll tax policy caused riots. I remember these well as I was walking past Trafalgar Square on the day of a high powered riot with all manner of objects flying through the air as the rioters vented their anger on the police cars driven by police who were having a very hard time trying to keep order.

Wikipedia describes this riot as follows:

"The most serious was in a protest at Trafalgar Square, London, on March 31, 1990, of more than 200,000 protesters. This unrest was instrumental in toppling Margaret Thatcher in 1990."

It is wise to change some of our decisions if it becomes obvious that they are the wrong ones but there are a host of decisions which are clearly the right ones and we will live much happier lives if we carry them out. Of course, some decisions are not easy to carry out and could cause riot and rebellion in our own minds. It makes sense to keep our decisions fairly easy to carry out until our will power becomes strong and can cope with bigger demands.

Today, I decided to do 100 repetitions of various exercises. I succeeded but, if I had tried to do 500 of each, I might well not have done them.

Remembering Kacper's words about success can also help. You only need to think to yourself: "I am a success if I do what I decide to do or if I do not do what I decide not to do." Such words are highly motivating to any one who wants to be a success and who doesn't? It is also wise to make daily rather than yearly decisions about what you will and will not do. We can only control today. Alcoholics Anonymous have found that out.

Some decisions may lead to regular good habits which will not involve any further decisions. However, a good habit will only be formed if we make and carry out many small decisions which lead to the formation of the habit we want.

Succeed then by doing what you decide to do and not doing what you decide not to do. Don't make these decisions rashly. If they are too tough to carry out you will lose confidence in your ability to make and carry out decisions. If you make your decisions wisely and avoid asking too much of yourself at first, you will increase your confidence and will power and slowly climb the ladder of success to heights which may amaze you.

Civil Engineering Technology

Succeed By Working Instead Of Whining

Some humans waste a lot of time and energy on self-pity and whining when they could be using that wasted time and energy to improve their situation so that they have less to whine about.

The dictionary defines whining as complaining in a childish, moaning kind of way. You will find a definitive example of this, from my own childhood, later in this article.

In the kick butt film "G.I. Jane", the brutal Master Chief John Urgayle, eventually shows Lieutenant Jordan O'Neil, acted by Demi Moore, one of the key values behind his pitiless training methods.

At the successful conclusion of her tortuous training to be part of a tough elite squad, he gives her his book of D.H. Lawrence's poetry in which he has circled one of his favorite poems entitled 'Self-Pity'. In this famous poem, Lawrence shows his admiration for the courage of wild creatures:

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.

A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough

Without ever having felt sorry for itself."

The bird will sing all its life without complaint until it reaches the end of its short life. The thought of feeling sorry for itself never, as far as we know, enters its head.

Humans sing too but some will also spend a huge chunk of their lives moaning and groaning about the weather, the traffic, inflation, the government, their parents, their children and the people who misjudge, criticize and fail to appreciate them.

They may even feel that the universe has it in for them. They ask: "Why me? Why now? Somebody is out to get me!" They even have songs which complain about all manner of things.

Anthony D'Angelo suggests a wise solution: "Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it." Perhaps we should add: "If you can't do anything about it, just accept it and move on."

If the traffic is heavy, don't whine or whinge ( i.e. complain in a persistent and annoying manner). Just leave early enough to reach your destination in good time. If you miss a train, check the timetable more carefully next time!

If you have a huge amount of work to do, don't moan about it. Make a list of what you have to do; prioritize it and then get started on the first task. At the very least, do the easiest task on your list. You will begin to feel a sense of control and power rather than a feeling of self-pity. Try to make your lists in the evening so that you can get cracking early in the morning.

If a whining or self-pitying thought enters your mind replace it as soon as you can with thoughts of power and gratitude. Fill your mind with the belief that you can sort out almost any problem if you give it some focused attention or ask for help from an expert. Be thankful for all you already have and you will attract more good things and experiences into your life.

Nelson Mandela is a great example of what can be achieved if you refuse to pity yourself. He managed to forgive those who had imprisoned him for 27 years:

"I had to let it go," said Mandela. "They took the best years of my life... They destroyed my marriage. They abused me physically and mentally. They could take everything except my heart and mind. Those things I would have to give away and I decided not to give them away."

His example inspired a nation. There are still problems in South Africa but the nation has become a beacon to the rest of the world and they even managed to win the Rugby Union World Cup in 2007!

Richard Smith, the editor of the British Medical Journal, has noted how Mandela inspired Bill Clinton to overcome self-pity. The humiliated President felt sorry for himself when he was harassed by prosecutors over his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

However, Clinton managed to follow Mandela's example, forgiving his tormentors and resisting self pity. "You do this," he observes, "not for other people but yourself. If you don't let it go, it continues to eat at you."

Smith notes the wisdom in Bill Clinton's words. Self pity will destroy you and not the people whom you might feel rightly or wrongly are attacking you. The train you've just missed 'will not care a hoot' that you have just missed it.

When I was a boy, my favorite part of the Yorkshire pudding was the crusty corner. On one memorable occasion, my granddad gave me one of the soggy portions from the middle of the pudding instead of my favorite portion! I was filled with anger and self-pity.

To the astonishment of all present, I grabbed a spoonful of mustard and swallowed it down neat as a protest against life's injustice. No one suffered except me! Self-pity, then, can only make a bad situation worse. It makes sense not to give in to it. You will be the one to suffer most.

Recently, I felt like complaining when I was trying to sleep and a local bird was endlessly repeating the same loud bird song. The sounds emerged over and over again as the bird sang like a demented rapper on automatic - uh OOOH oh, uh OOOH oh. In fact, I can hear it now! It has started up again!

Eventually, I switched off the central heating and closed my window so that I could no longer hear the bird song. I've just had to close the window again! This bird is definitely feeling no pity for itself or anyone else in ear shot!

Of course, there are times when no one could blame you for feeling self-pity and complaining. If you or a loved one are suffering chronic pain from cancer or a similar illness, self-pity would seem to be justified. Like Job, you or they might well feel like cursing God or the Universe and dying.

This article is not about that depth of pain. However Master Chief John Urgayle points out that some kinds of pain can be useful:

"Pain is your friend, your ally. It will tell you when you are seriously injured; it will keep you awake and angry and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?"

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: "Don't know!"

Master Chief John Urgayle: "It lets you know you're not dead yet!"

Pain was my friend when I was about twelve years old. I had had an operation on a toe. The surgical bandage was too tight and I soon developed gangrene. I complained of the pain. The local doctor said I was complaining unnecessarily!

Fortunately, my mother knew me better and disobeyed the doctor's instructions by bravely cutting open the bandage. This revealed a toe which was black with gangrene. The pain disappeared as soon as the bandage was removed but I nearly lost both my leg and my life. In the end I lost only half the toe. Complaining and a brave mother had saved my leg and, possibly, my life.

There are times, then, when we can overcome problems by complaining but, in the majority of cases, work or some other kind of action is preferable to wasting time complaining.

As long as we are alive and not in such excruciating pain that we cannot achieve anything except just staying alive, we have the option of not spending time whining.

Instead we can use the time we would normally have spent complaining to take action and find a solution to whatever it is that we are complaining about.

Every day we could ask ourselves the question: "Are you going to rise and shine or rise and whine?" The wise choice, in my view, is to shine. We would make ourselves and others much happier by following the words of the famous gospel song which is relevant to both adults and children:

"This little light of mine; I'm going to let it shine!"

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