Achieve Your Goals By Expecting Miracles Instead Of Debacles

How many times have you had a bad day when everything seemed to go wrong at the worst possible moment? You failed to achieve most of your goals and felt that the universe was against you.

Perhaps, the universe was to blame or perhaps you were to blame because you expected things to go wrong. We might be able to avoid such debacles by expecting miracles instead. In case anyone is wondering, one dictionary defines a 'debacle' as a 'total and often ludicrous failure.' 'Miracle' in this article simply means 'something wonderful'.

On Wednesday 23rd January 2008, my first goal of the day was to change the fluorescent tube light which is high on the ceiling over my desk. I expected the following might go wrong:

The small step ladder might break under my weight as I used it to climb on to my desk just as the attic ladder had collapsed under me a few months ago. I might even get my foot trapped within the ladder like a neighbour whose foot was nearly amputated by her own metal ladder. She retained her foot by holding it in place until help arrived but has had endless problems and pain for years as a result of this one unfortunate accident.

If the ladder did not collapse, I thought the desk might collapse if I had to put all my weight on it. My computer would then hit the floor with major damage and so would my monitor not to mention the phone and everything else on my desk. I would also hurtle to the floor breaking several bones and ending up in agony and even a state of paralysis for life!

Even if the desk did not collapse, I might not be able to fit the light tube into the holes at each end of the light fitting and, even if I did, the light might not work and/or the electric fitting might catch fire! The fitting had seemed to glow red as the previous light tube expired!

I am exaggerating but only a little and I would not have tried to change the light tube if I had really believed that everything would go wrong. However, I still believed a watered down version of Murphy's law that some things that could go wrong might go wrong at the worst possible moment and I nearly gave up on my goal before I even started. I could have used a lamp instead of changing the fluorescent light. In the event, everything went right although at times I struggled. The ladder and the desk held up under my full weight - over twenty stone - and the fluorescent light is now shining brightly above me. Goal achieved.

When I moved on to open my emails, in triumphant mood, I came across one from Christopher Westra which had a new law inside which I much prefer to Murphy's: "Everything that CAN go right WILL go right. Expect Miracles!"

He called it Bijan's law after it's author and added the following comment: "I came across this today and really liked it. I hope you liked it too. It's my philosophy, but I like the way Bijan phrases it."

I, also, prefer Bijan's law to Murphy's law. It can motivate you to get a move on with your goals. However, Murphy's law can still be a useful law in achieving your goals. It repays closer study

Murphy's law is a well known saying that broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. The law, thus, gives us fair warning not to leave things to chance. Instead we should prepare well and practice whatever we are planning to do especially if we are performing in public. We should avoid both hurry and worry.

The British stage magician Nevil Maskelyne discovered this for himself. He wrote in 1908: "It is an experience common to all men to find that, on any special occasion, such as the production of a magical effect for the first time in public, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Whether we must attribute this to the malignity of matter or to the total depravity of inanimate things, whether the exciting cause is hurry, worry, or what not, the fact remains."

The law that produces this kind of experience has been around for a long time but after 1952, the name 'Murphy' was attached to it possibly when some measuring devices invented by Edward Murphy went wrong.

The perversity, or apparently deliberate tendency to mess things up, of the universe has long been commented on, and forerunners to the modern version of Murphy's law are not hard to find. For example, an Ohio newspaper printed this poem in 1841: "I never had a slice of bread, Particularly large and wide, That did not fall upon the floor, And always on the buttered side."

Designers of all kinds of products have long recognized the tendency of people as well as the universe to mess things up. Murphy's law has encouraged them to use defensive design i.e. to make things so simple and easy to use that even the greatest idiot can use them successfully.

For example, the 3.5-inch floppy disk once used in many computers will not easily fit into the drive unless it is put in the right way up. In contrast, the older 5.25-inch floppy disk could be inserted in a variety of ways that might damage the disk or drive.

The newer CD-ROM and DVD formats permit one incorrect orientation - the disc may be inserted upside-down, which is harmless to the disc. A defensive designer knows that if it is possible for the disc to be inserted the wrong way, someone will eventually try it.

An awareness of Murphy's law can then help all human beings especially the stupid ones to achieve their goals! I have, since my teenage years, classed myself amongst the technically stupid ones. I now realize that no one should think of themselves as stupid in connection with any skill or area of knowledge because if you consistently think of yourself as stupid you tend to become so and make only half-hearted efforts to improve.

Another example of defensive design can be seen in car design. Car designers have allowed for the tendency of some drivers to drive badly. They have created safety features like seat belts which will limit the damage caused by accidents.

So then, let's expect miracles by visualising the wonderful things that could happen rather than worrying about possible disasters that might well not happen. But let's also be aware of the problems that might bite us, if we do not take all necessary precautions.

Make sure that there are no shark fins around if you go for a swim in the sea and don't forget to check that the swimming pool is full of water before you dive into it. I have heard about at least one person who dived into an empty pool without checking simply because it had been full of water the day before! I am not sure if that story is true or not but would not be surprised if it was.

If you are doing business with somebody, make sure they are not a 'shark' who will just take your money. On the other hand, you need to trust and expect the best from some people or it will take a long time to achieve anything. If you love alcohol, avoid too much to drink or the world will literally become your playground as you fall and slip all over the place like a confused child. If you are a workaholic, get some rest or the same thing will happen!

Hopefully, your life will be full of goal achievement and miracles rather than debacles. Think daily of Bijan's law but, occasionally, remember Murphy's law and take steps to keep any debacles to a minimum.

Expect things to go right as you strive to achieve your goals and you are far more likely to achieve them. It is also worth remembering this great quote: "Life is not numbered by the amount of breaths we take but by the moments which take our breath away." Such moments constitute the miracles - the wonderful things, events, experiences and people - we should be expecting and appreciating every day of our lives.

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Succeed By Working Instead Of Whining

Some humans waste a lot of time and energy on self-pity and whining when they could be using that wasted time and energy to improve their situation so that they have less to whine about.

The dictionary defines whining as complaining in a childish, moaning kind of way. You will find a definitive example of this, from my own childhood, later in this article.

In the kick butt film "G.I. Jane", the brutal Master Chief John Urgayle, eventually shows Lieutenant Jordan O'Neil, acted by Demi Moore, one of the key values behind his pitiless training methods.

At the successful conclusion of her tortuous training to be part of a tough elite squad, he gives her his book of D.H. Lawrence's poetry in which he has circled one of his favorite poems entitled 'Self-Pity'. In this famous poem, Lawrence shows his admiration for the courage of wild creatures:

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.

A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough

Without ever having felt sorry for itself."

The bird will sing all its life without complaint until it reaches the end of its short life. The thought of feeling sorry for itself never, as far as we know, enters its head.

Humans sing too but some will also spend a huge chunk of their lives moaning and groaning about the weather, the traffic, inflation, the government, their parents, their children and the people who misjudge, criticize and fail to appreciate them.

They may even feel that the universe has it in for them. They ask: "Why me? Why now? Somebody is out to get me!" They even have songs which complain about all manner of things.

Anthony D'Angelo suggests a wise solution: "Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it." Perhaps we should add: "If you can't do anything about it, just accept it and move on."

If the traffic is heavy, don't whine or whinge ( i.e. complain in a persistent and annoying manner). Just leave early enough to reach your destination in good time. If you miss a train, check the timetable more carefully next time!

If you have a huge amount of work to do, don't moan about it. Make a list of what you have to do; prioritize it and then get started on the first task. At the very least, do the easiest task on your list. You will begin to feel a sense of control and power rather than a feeling of self-pity. Try to make your lists in the evening so that you can get cracking early in the morning.

If a whining or self-pitying thought enters your mind replace it as soon as you can with thoughts of power and gratitude. Fill your mind with the belief that you can sort out almost any problem if you give it some focused attention or ask for help from an expert. Be thankful for all you already have and you will attract more good things and experiences into your life.

Nelson Mandela is a great example of what can be achieved if you refuse to pity yourself. He managed to forgive those who had imprisoned him for 27 years:

"I had to let it go," said Mandela. "They took the best years of my life... They destroyed my marriage. They abused me physically and mentally. They could take everything except my heart and mind. Those things I would have to give away and I decided not to give them away."

His example inspired a nation. There are still problems in South Africa but the nation has become a beacon to the rest of the world and they even managed to win the Rugby Union World Cup in 2007!

Richard Smith, the editor of the British Medical Journal, has noted how Mandela inspired Bill Clinton to overcome self-pity. The humiliated President felt sorry for himself when he was harassed by prosecutors over his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

However, Clinton managed to follow Mandela's example, forgiving his tormentors and resisting self pity. "You do this," he observes, "not for other people but yourself. If you don't let it go, it continues to eat at you."

Smith notes the wisdom in Bill Clinton's words. Self pity will destroy you and not the people whom you might feel rightly or wrongly are attacking you. The train you've just missed 'will not care a hoot' that you have just missed it.

When I was a boy, my favorite part of the Yorkshire pudding was the crusty corner. On one memorable occasion, my granddad gave me one of the soggy portions from the middle of the pudding instead of my favorite portion! I was filled with anger and self-pity.

To the astonishment of all present, I grabbed a spoonful of mustard and swallowed it down neat as a protest against life's injustice. No one suffered except me! Self-pity, then, can only make a bad situation worse. It makes sense not to give in to it. You will be the one to suffer most.

Recently, I felt like complaining when I was trying to sleep and a local bird was endlessly repeating the same loud bird song. The sounds emerged over and over again as the bird sang like a demented rapper on automatic - uh OOOH oh, uh OOOH oh. In fact, I can hear it now! It has started up again!

Eventually, I switched off the central heating and closed my window so that I could no longer hear the bird song. I've just had to close the window again! This bird is definitely feeling no pity for itself or anyone else in ear shot!

Of course, there are times when no one could blame you for feeling self-pity and complaining. If you or a loved one are suffering chronic pain from cancer or a similar illness, self-pity would seem to be justified. Like Job, you or they might well feel like cursing God or the Universe and dying.

This article is not about that depth of pain. However Master Chief John Urgayle points out that some kinds of pain can be useful:

"Pain is your friend, your ally. It will tell you when you are seriously injured; it will keep you awake and angry and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?"

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: "Don't know!"

Master Chief John Urgayle: "It lets you know you're not dead yet!"

Pain was my friend when I was about twelve years old. I had had an operation on a toe. The surgical bandage was too tight and I soon developed gangrene. I complained of the pain. The local doctor said I was complaining unnecessarily!

Fortunately, my mother knew me better and disobeyed the doctor's instructions by bravely cutting open the bandage. This revealed a toe which was black with gangrene. The pain disappeared as soon as the bandage was removed but I nearly lost both my leg and my life. In the end I lost only half the toe. Complaining and a brave mother had saved my leg and, possibly, my life.

There are times, then, when we can overcome problems by complaining but, in the majority of cases, work or some other kind of action is preferable to wasting time complaining.

As long as we are alive and not in such excruciating pain that we cannot achieve anything except just staying alive, we have the option of not spending time whining.

Instead we can use the time we would normally have spent complaining to take action and find a solution to whatever it is that we are complaining about.

Every day we could ask ourselves the question: "Are you going to rise and shine or rise and whine?" The wise choice, in my view, is to shine. We would make ourselves and others much happier by following the words of the famous gospel song which is relevant to both adults and children:

"This little light of mine; I'm going to let it shine!"

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